Everything I do takes extended effort, causes pain and frustrates me. Thoughts these days are happily running towards creative pursuits - learning to paint and sew - and away from woe, but fatigue remains. I'm told my brain doesn't do muscle recovery, at least not like it used to. A recent familiar walk has become a hill climb with one leg dragging at every step. Slicing strawberries for ice cream took an eternity. I finally gave up.
I've never been a quitter. I could do anything if I wanted to. A person needs that sort of thing in life, don't you think? The attitude of 'yes I can' is important on many levels. I can type, but not well (used to be 80wpm). Stairs yes but only with rails and free hands. Walking is slow and I really should use a cane. There isn't always a wall or a chair or my beloved's hand. I'm stubborn, though, and I keep walking and wearing out. I want to brighten up a cane with cool things like this:
Well, maybe not quite but something like it. Maybe a selection so I can match my outfit?
Outfits. That's why I want to sew. Jeans and t-shirts have been my wardrobe since a spitty baby created too much laundry, but it's getting harder and harder to keep up. That button is almost impossible. Pulling a shirt over my head is tricky too. So far I have no super idea of how to do clothes. I'm looking for easy fasteners, natural fibers, easy laundering, and of course funky. Flattering would be nice too!
Life is good mostly. My 'moments' are fewer and my happy is often. I'm letting go of control. Ha. Any control I think I have is a figment of my imagination anyways. I'm happy that I'm not afraid any more.
What to do when I'm done 100 Happy Days? I'd like another word for another hundred days. Anyone?
