This summer I planted a flower garden. This is not gruelling work usually but, oh, it was hard. It's a beautiful addition to our new lawn, designed for entertaining. Our first big party was a huge success and I expect we'll have many more. It's getting easier to take a smaller role for these gatherings but I still forget that I can't do it alone.
One of our sons was married recent;y. I couldn't dance but i moved along to the music as best I could. I shared a funny story from his youth.My fumbly speech made it no less humourous.My instability allowed me freedom to put on comfortable shoes after the ceremony and I even had a quiet nap. There are a few priviledges!
I'm gradually coming to terms with my condition, Next month will be 1 year since diagnosis and there are a lot of changes. My left hand stays partially closed now, even when forced, so it's useless. My leg barely leaves the ground (try to walk in the dark over unfamiliar ground barely moving one leg. all the time). Neck and back deterioration make getting in and out or up and down so difficult that my dear little grand-girl offers her 'assisting' hand. Somehow her 3yr old entreaties make me able. Even digestion is an issue but I'm not losing weight so it isn't too bad! So far I can still care for myself but every day it;s a little harder to get dressed and wash.Besides being unable to play violin this is one of the hardest things I face. I accept someone else doing my usual house chores but how will I adjust to being washed, dressed and fed? Maybe that day won't come?
The answer is "I'm OK". I can't control this but I sure don't have to let it control me.
Thanks for sharing a bit of my life.
