Today was dinner at a local restaurant. It's the sort of place where you can count on great service and great food, and knowing many of the other guests. We talked about a lot of things as we always do and when the conversation came to marriage things became sober. I was reminded that my marriage is awesome and my husband is a prince. I am very grateful for this wonderful, kind man. He will take care of me so don't worry, he says. But I do.
I worry that the task is too big
Resources insufficient
Demands overwhelming
What might my family have to live through as I die? Will it make them better or bitter? Will they pull together or apart?
God, help us. That is all.
Better or Bitter
ReplyDeleteI'm quite sure that this differs form family to family and from person to person within that family, but because we are all so different, even though we have this shared history that is "Family", we are know the end result will be increased distance between members as time goes on. Death is a main player in this process, because it places inescapable stressors on us and on our relationships. Everyone will change.
I will tell you, that when my mother was dying, us five kids came together for the fist time in years, to care for her, and the hospice staff were impressed with how close we were, how we shared tasks and communicated need, and supported and loved one another. But I had rised my family up north in/near native populations. My brother raised his family in China. My other brother had no children. One sister had two boys and the other sister was unable to have children and adopted a son. When it came time immediately after death, to manage visitations of children, family, friends, we all had different ideas about how that was to be done and five different interpretations of what mom would have wanted.
There is nothing mom could have done to prepare for that, and unless we had wiser counsel, no way we could have foreseen.
Prayer. There is what you can do. I don't know either what your "theology" is around praying for the deceased, but It changed for me. I believe that my mom and dad are praying for me beyond the grave. I can do the same for them. Do our parers end when life does? You will continue to intercede for those you love, and those who love you and continue to intercede for you. Some things will end, but not all. This is the promise of salvation, of healing. This is what it means to be child of God.